ylang ylang 𓆩♡𓆪

what I picture in my head when I listen to it (I think it’s best that u read this while listening to it)

I rest my head on the tree. as I drown in my own thoughts, all the noise from the field slowly dies down. at least to me. I look up at the sky, the clouds are beautiful today. a small smile escapes my lips. it’s been a very long time ever since I smiled,I wonder what it feels like to be truly happy. I hold my jacket even tighter as I feel the breeze brush against my neck. from a distance, you could see the kids playing on the field. For a moment I forgot that those kids were my friends, not just some random kids. am I lonely? or am I choosing to be alone? or am I isolating myself from everyone? am I being selfish? thinking about it makes my head hurt, so I just decide not to. my heart felt so happy. I felt like a small girl being offered candy. but will this happiness last? will it stay? gosh I was overthinking all over again. stop. my eyes then landed on him. oh so he was here today. I get reminded of why I am alive and living in the first place. I’m living for him and my friends aren’t I? I don’t know. who to live for? who to not? I don’t know. I watch him interact with many others. wow they must really like him, and he really values them doesn’t he? they must be having so much fun. what is fun? how does it feel like to genuinely have fun? I don’t know. from afar, I see him treat others the way I want to be treated. gosh, if I was treated like that I would have appreciated his actions more than them. or do they appreciate him more? is that why he likes them more than me? come to think of it, does he even like me…? some way or another, my overthinking always took over me and I hated it. gosh just let me be genuinely happy for once. am I the reason I’m not genuinely happy in the first place? who am I?

“hey”

I snap out of my thoughts. he’s right there I just keep quiet and admire him. his eyes were beautiful. so we’re his nose and lips. I realise how stupid I must have looked, so I look at my hands instead. what is he doing here?

“what are you doing here?” he smiles

“idk just being emo I guess”

“then don’t be”

he laughed. I just kept quiet, I didn’t know what to say. it was like my brain stopped too. no more overthinking. peace.

“well.. how are you?”I asked

“never been better, now that I’m with you”

-lady issentro.